It’s a fact, men idolize women. Sometimes the obvious is key to unlocking old patterns of thinking and behavior. Men idolize women first in their heads (thinking) based on their beliefs and values of ‘what’s attractive’. This mental process creates an emotional state (feelings) that affects their whole physiology (blushing, arousal, sweating, palpitations, dry mouth, stuttering etc). The third state is action (doing) this could be anything from leaving the scene to approaching the woman and trying to strike up conversation. This usually results in a poor response due to all of the telegraphed behavior that the woman has picked up on. I’ll say this now and underline it so you remember that, ‘Women have an amazing subconscious radar that picks up on your emotional state as its happening’
Scary huh! Not really as it serves a very important purpose on the grand scheme of human survival. Women sense your intentions and choose to protect themselves until they feel comfortable and safe. Unfortunately for those of you who idolize first and approach second ‘you are already dead in the water’ as there are probably plenty of other guys in the immediate environment who have not given away their energy yet.
Given away their energy? Yes that’s exactly what you do when you idolize. If she is on a pedestal you by definition are below her in the crowd of wannabe suitors. Women don’t want just anybody, they want somebody. There are thousands of arguments why beautiful woman are attracted to wealthy men, some of these arguments are fueled by jealousy and stereotyping. Men who have wealth or power are ‘somebody’ by cultural definition. I’m not wanting your agreement on this or to start a whole debate – I am simply stating a fact that when you are perceived as ‘somebody’ are ranked as attractive.
Attractive vs attraction is really when this whole article is about. When you show your attraction to a woman you give something away and lose your attractiveness. On the other hand – when you demonstrate qualities that deem you as attractive (wealth, status, non-needy behavior, clean, friendly) women are attracted to you.
I am not saying that all women are attracted to all men who demonstrate these behaviors – we all have ‘types’ that we connect with, we all have our own definition of attractiveness based on our values and beliefs.
So how can you undo your thinking to stop this sabotaging called ‘idolizing’?
You wont like this but I’ll say it anyway ‘lower your standards’ and deem every and any woman as being worthy of your attention. Notice I say attention. Attention can be anything from a smile to a hello hows your day. My guess is that you reserve this kind of communication for ‘beauties’ and not just any woman. The key is this and yes I said it would be obvious. When you connect with someone you are not attracted to you don’t think about much, which means that you don’t feel very much and have no reason to act. You did something for the sake of doing it and not for an imagined outcome.
So go out and practice this and make the world a happier place. When women see you making people happy by being pleasant and natural they put you in a very special category ‘you become attractive’
To your success!
Want to learn more about attraction?